it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
