We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
