Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
