Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
