I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I got inside last night via doggy door
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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