david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
