you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
