He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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