I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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