brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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