Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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