I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
