Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
