Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
