come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
