Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
