it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
