My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
