dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
