"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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