spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
