so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
