Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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