member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize