Your mouth is God's brothel.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
