You just made me feel so damn special
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
