no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
