we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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