woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
