Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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