Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Randomize
