Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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