It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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