I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Congratulations! We have a period
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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