Where are you?
In a non slutty way
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
