I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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