i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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