My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
