And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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