i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
