I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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