Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
