If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So much rum. So many feels.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
