I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
BRING THE BAGELS
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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