yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
