dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
