I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize