i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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