Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
