I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
