i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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