I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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