Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
