Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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