She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
