I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
