you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Can Purell be used as lube?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
