no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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