I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
