he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
