Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
