Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I have tasted many bathrooms
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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