i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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